Thursday, 26 November 2009

Confessions of an over eater

Confession number 1: I have been avoiding coming on here due to the shame and having dived off the wagon in the most dramatic fashion

Confession number 2: my binge eating has got out of control. By way of example yesterday I ate the following:

Breakfast: Chocolate Croissant

Lunch: Dim Sum at Ping Pong, I have no idea how many portion of delicious dim sum I managed to shovel down but it was a lot.............I even ordered seconds

Snacks (and this is where it starts to get really really bad):

1x packet of peanut M&Ms

2x Salt and Vinegar Crisps

1 x Honey Popcorn

1 x Bag of Minstrels

1 x Bag of Malteasers

2 x crackers with Boursin cheese

Dinner: Lamb Kofta with chips AND a pasta salad

I am disgusting and disgusted.

Confession number 3: I have not been weighed in over 6 weeks
Confession number 4: I have started eating in secret
Confession number 5: I have stopped posting on the weight watchers boards, have not blogged and have stopped emailing my ww buddies. I am a bad friend.
So I am going to rip up my old WW card and start again today.
My meeting is at 11.45...........wish me luck.

Friday, 25 September 2009

5 gallons of water and a rack of ribs ..........

I have been thinking about starting a blog for a long time now. I have been following a few of the blogs by posters on the 5+ ww boards (I82MUCH, Joeybrooks, Payton 73, Bryerhill to name but a few) and they are such an inspiration and I thought hey why don't I try this blogging malarkey and see where we get to.

So here is my story so far..............

I am a 26 six year old fattie. It is true, there is no denying that fact. Granted I am less of a fattie than I was a year and a half ago but a fattie I remain.

I have always been a fattie. For as long as I can remember I have detested clothes shopping; I remember being in tears in the changing room from as young as six, having to get the XXL school uniforms, dreading parties and occasions as I knew no matter what dress I somehow managed to find I would always fail to look anywhere near as good as my skinnier friends, colleagues and even worse boyfriends.

The weird thing was that although being fat has made me miserable, I think that I have been fat for so long that I used to think of it as just part of my personality. I can imagine people describing me - "yes, Keily she is funny, a bit loud, smart oh and she is a "big" girl". (God I hate that pc phrase more than anything. I think I would rather call a spade a spade and say you know the "fat one"). Rant aside, it just became part of me. And although I didn't like it I don't think I was ever ready to change it, I could not imagine a skinny me still being me.

I have been thin once before though and it was glorious. I went to an all Irish boarding school for one year when I was 11 and the food was dire and you were restricted to one visit to the "tuck room" a day for sweets (now I look back and it was like a linguistic fat camp!). I came back thin (well thin for me), I was a size 12. But of course with my freedom came freedom to eat and soon I was back to being a fattie again *sigh*.

So this blog is really about my journey to thin-ness, real and lasting thin-ness. From June 2008 - January 2009, I lost 3 stone, which I am told, is equal in weight to a 5 gallon bottle of water and a rack of baby back ribs. Which was good going - and then I stopped. I don't know why I stopped, but since January 2009 I have been hovering around the 3 stone mark and making no progress. I have now lost 39lbs.

So it is time to shake things up, and starting this blog is part of that. I will try to be good and when I am bad I will try to enjoy it (at the very least).